Name: Cardi & Megan Give "WAP" New Meaning And Harry's Banana Turns Heads At The GRAMMYs
Uploaded: 2021-03-16T20:45:07.000Z
Duration: 12 min 15 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

>> Stephen: THERE ARE TIMES I LOVE TO DO THIS SHOW.

I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT AND I AM FEELING PRETTY DARN

NOT JUST THE RINGO THING BUT IT'S BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME

IN THE LAST YEAR I FEEL LIKE THE GLASS IS HALF FULL.

IT'S PRETTY SURE THAT'S WATER, DOESN'T SMELL LIKE BLEACH.

BECAUSE AFTER A YEAR OF RELENTLESS DARK NEWS ABOUT THE

PANDEMIC, THERE MAY FINALLY BE SOME LIGHT AT THE END OF THE

I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN MY NEWLY-UPDATED SEGMENT: "CATCH

-- I'LL INFECT YOU, MY PRETTY AND YOUR LITTLE DOGS!

THEY KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH THIS WHEN THEY GIVE IT TO

>> STEPHEN: THIS WEEKEND, WE REACHED A VERY EXCITING

MILESTONE: THE UNITED STATES HAS NOW ADMINISTERED OVER

100 MILLION DOSES OF COVID-19 VACCINE, MEANING, ALMOST 20% OF

THE TOTAL POPULATION HAVE GOTTEN AT LEAST ONE DOSE.

SO, NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN A GROUP OF FIVE PEOPLE, LOOK AROUND AND

SAY TO YOURSELF, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN A GROUP OF FIVE

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY SHOT YET!" ONE PERSON WHO GOT THE VACCINE

THIS WEEKEND WAS 18-TIME GRAMMY-WINNING CELLIST YO-YO-MA,

WHO DIDN'T JUST GET HIS SHOT, HE BROUGHT HIS CELLO WITH HIM, AND

THEN, DURING THE 15-MINUTE OBSERVATION PERIOD, PLAYED A

THAT'S LOVELY, BUT HOW MUCH OF A SURPRISE IS IT WHEN YO-YO MA

"OH, MY GOSH, YO-YO, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE IN THAT GIANT

I'M GOING TO SAY A VERY VOLUPTUOUS CLARINET?

YES, WE WERE SURPRISED!" HERE'S A TASTE OF THE CONCERT:

WHAT A LOVELY GIFT FOR EVERYONE WAITING FOR THEIR SHOT TO TAKE

IS THERE A CELLO VERSION OF "UPTOWN FUNK?"

BUT DESPITE ALL THE GOOD NEWS, THERE MAY BE TROUBLE ON THE

HORIZON, BECAUSE NEARLY 30% OF AMERICANS-- AND HALF

OF ALL REPUBLICAN MEN-- SAY THEY DO NOT INTEND TO GET ONE OF THE

YOUR GUY'S TAKING CREDIT FOR THE VACCINE.

YOU'RE INSULTING HIM BY NOT GETTING JABBED.

YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS "WHATEVER'S-WHERE-HIS-HEART-SHOU

YESTERDAY, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI WAS ON THE FOX NEWS AND, IN AN

ATTEMPT TO GET THE FORMER PRESIDENT TO ENCOURAGE HIS

FOLLOWERS TO GET VACCINATED, HE TRIED FLAT-OUT FLATTERY:

>> HE'S A VERY WIDELY POPULAR PERSON AMONG REPUBLICANS.

IF HE CAME OUT AND SAID, "GO AND GET VACCINATED, IT'S REALLY

IMPORTANT FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE HEALTH OF YOUR FAMILY, AND THE

HEALTH OF THE COUNTRY," IT SEEMS ABSOLUTELY INEVITABLE THAT THE

VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO ARE HIS CLOSE FOLLOWERS WOULD LISTEN

>> STEPHEN: (AS FAUCI) "HE'S SO STRONGLY POPULAR, AND

AS AN IMMUNOLOGIST, I'D SAY HE'S CONTAGIOUSLY SEXY, AND I

JUST LOOKING AT HIM, I RUN A FEVER OF 100-AND-DAMN!

"TEAR ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT BUT NOT HIS HAIR BECAUSE THAT HAIR

BUT TO GET EVERYONE THEIR SHOTS, WE NEED LEADERSHIP IN EVERY PART

WHICH IS WHY THOUSANDS OF CLERGY MEMBERS FROM A CROSS SECTION OF

FAITHS-- IMAMS, RABBIS, PRIESTS, AND SWAMIS-- ARE TRYING TO COAX

THE HESITANT TO GET VACCINATED AGAINST COVID-19.

REMINDS ME OF THAT JOKE: A PRIEST, A RABBI, AN IMAM AND A

SWAMI WALK INTO A BAR-- AND IT'S OKAY 'CAUSE THEY ALL GOT

AT ONE EVANGELICAL CHURCH IN FLORIDA, THE REVEREND ENCOURAGES

HIS CONGREGATION BY REMINDING THEM THAT OUR TRADITION IS RICH

YES, AND REMEMBER, CHRIST IS SCHEDULED TO COME BACK FOR A

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Cardi & Megan Give "WAP" New Meaning And Harry's Banana Turns Heads At The GRAMMYs

pandemic

immediately

suppose

stunning