Name: The rise of emotional manipulation as "dark femininity"
Uploaded: 2025-11-28T17:02:08.000Z
Duration: 7 min 59 s
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Lets talk about the rise of emotional manipulation disguised as dark femininity.

Ladies, here are some tips for making any guy high key obsessed over you.

Men fall in love with women's absence, worshiping the ground you walk onto to make a man miss you.

Basically, people have taken all of the manipulation tactics from pickup artistry and decided to rebrand and repackage it as a new kind of feminism.

It encourages women to use the same manipulation tactics that have been historically weaponized against them and says, hey, let's just reverse uno card this.

This whole movement of dark psychology and dark femininity exploits CIS women's wounds.

It offers women the promise of reclaiming their power of protection and taking control of their dating lives, when in reality it's just a bunch of toxic techniques in a trench coat.

So a really easy mental trick to get someone to do what you want is by slipping a command into a question.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but go confirm a date with the wrong guy.

Literally text him, see you at 7 and then say, sorry, wrong person and go silent.

That means don't initiate conversations, don't text him.

If you want men to give you everything you want, you have to manipulate them.

next time you feel like being a little bit toxic, just text him here and go silent after that.

As a woman, you need to learn how to flip the script and make everything that man's fault even.

It don't matter what you do, you need to be able to flip it back on.

Dating is confusing and it's hard and it's terrifying.

It'd be amazing if there were a blanket set of rules we could follow that would ensure we wouldn't get hurt or played like it's easy to hear.

They respond to no contact and use that as an excuse to shy away from the vulnerability it takes to communicate honestly.

It's easy to learn about intermittent reinforcement and switch from available to intentionally withholding to gamify someone's dopamine system instead of genuinely showing up to build trust and connection.

But the most ironic part of this movement is that it's telling women to be emotionally unavailable, to play mind games, and

to always conceal your intentions, and that all of These, these behaviors will lead to love.

Most of the advice also seems to be sort of like repackaged and distorted.

Lessons from the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene.

A cult classic that outlined Machiavellian tactics that are so effective.

This book has been banned several U.S. prisons.

And the second law is use absence to create honor and respect.

One of the laws is, I think, the most important, basically make people dependent on you.

They need you and they can't get rid of you.

So you need to make sure that your position in a company, in life in general, you're the only person who can do that.

If you allow people to feel they possess you to any degree, you lose all power over them.

Give them hope, but never satisfaction by not committing your affections.

They will only try harder to win you over.

Encourage the attention, stimulate their interest, but do not commit at any cost.

Now if there is one silver lining to dark psychology, I think it's the awareness, right?

If you're familiar with these emotional manipulation tactics, you can defend yourself against them because you can spot them but don't perpetrate them.

You know, I think one of the most fascinating people to offer this kind of awareness is Kanika Batra Matheson, a self proclaimed diagnosed sociopath who wants to clue you in on the potential weapons being used against you.

I'm a diagnosed sociopath and these are the four stages of narcissistic abuse.

Love bombing, of course, is the beginning of it all.

You're gonna be idealized by this person.

They're gonna project what they want onto you and you will feel like the center of the universe.

You'll get calls, texts, you'll get showered with gifts just until you fall short.

Once you become a real person and not their fantasy, you're gonna become very devalued.

All of that attention is just gonna be snatched from you real quick.

And let me tell you, you did nothing wrong.

You'll get less and less communication and then before you know it, you're discarded.

Don't think you're ever going to get closure by the way.

That's a narc's favorite form of control over you.

Then if they lose narcissistic supply elsewhere, they'll come back to you.

They'll give you little bits of attention that you'll Be begging for.

They'll try to bring you back into their life with the original love bombing.

They're doing it for themselves, not for you.

And look, I have no doubt that some of the people creating this kind of content ultimately have good intentions.

There are messages encouraging women to center themselves, to not drop all of their priorities and restructure their life for a man they've just met, and

to heal their own attachment wounds so they can show up as their most secure, confident selves.

But I think for the most part, the dark psychology and dark feminine movement really gets it wrong.

There's a great article by Camille Sojit Pejca, who articulated the exact conundrum.

The problem here lies not in the art of the tease, but

in the fact that the people turning to TikTok for dating advice are likely in the same demographic as those who.

Who desperately want to experience real love and instead are perpetuating the same cycle of emotional toxicity that made them so afraid to be vulnerable in the first place.

It's a pitfall people fall into again and again.

The idea being that empowerment involves appropriating the techniques by which you yourself were oppressed, which ironically tends to perpetuate the status quo.

And that's the biggest con of dark psychology, right?

It claims to solve all of this advice, right?

Like all these emotional manipulation tactics are great if you want to find someone who's insecure and avoidant and values the chase more than they do.

But if you want real love, if you want to experience true intimacy, I don't think you can build that on a lie or a game.

You can't form real trust when you are behind a wall pulling the strings the entire time.

How can true love develop when you're mentally playing chess with someone's feelings?

It demands that we show up, that we show our soft underbelly and hope that we don't get stuck, stabbed.

And if we do, it requires us to dust ourselves off and go back onto the battlefield.

Love demands courage, honesty, patience, and compassion.

It's about not letting your emotional wounds harden into scar tissue, but

to keep softening again and again with the trust that there is someone out there who can hold your heart with the same gentleness that you'll hold theirs.

To text back to this, but it's because I'm busy.