Name: What It’s Like To Lose Someone To Suicide
Uploaded: 2016-09-08T22:00:00.000Z
Duration: 4 min 35 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

- I don't understand why people don't talk about it.

I'm not ashamed that my daughter chose that way to not be here.

I'm grief stricken that she's not with me.

- I'd left my phone in my room and I had 45 missed calls,

my phone lit up and knew what the call was about.

Two policemen banging on my bedroom window.

So, I let them inside and they sat me down,

and they told me that my sister had been found.

- The police sergeant started talking to me.

And as soon as he started talking to me, it was just like my heart had ripped in two.

- It wasn't until quite a bit of time afterwards that the dust began to settle

- Physical feeling of going, "Not, no. That's my daughter. My daughter is gone."

- All the firsts, the first birthday, the first New Years,

it all just hits you when you least expect it.

I developed severe anxiety, and general anxiety disorder.

I developed depression worse than I ever have in my entire life.

- It comes and goes in waves of feeling from sadness to, yeah just, of course, missing her.

- If you can just imagine one night or you stayed up crying,

or crying yourself to sleep over someone that's broken your heart.

Every single time that's happened, all at once.

And the feeling's never really gone away.

- I think the biggest thing that I've taken from this experience is this sort of fragility of, of life.

Particularly when it comes to mental health,

- People to this day, are still sweeping this under the rug.

People are still pretending it's not happening.

- There's nothing wrong about speaking out.

I think asking your friends if they're okay,

- It's really made me realize how important it is to reach out to any loved ones,

to talk about things more, express feelings,

- My entire baseline of who I am has changed.

She was my only sibling, so she was my best friend for 20-odd years.

I feel like I'm not the same person as I was, and I think a lot of people expect you to kind of bounce back to become the same person, but I'm never gonna be them again.

- I don't think it's ever going be normal for me.

I just want them to know that they're not alone.

- You're not thinking about what you leave behind,

- Look after yourselves, look after each other,