Name: The Trump Train Is Already Off The Rails
Uploaded: 2016-12-02T03:01:23.000Z
Duration: 6 min 17 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT, AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER TO BE

WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO COME OUT HERE AND TALK ABOUT ALL OF

>> Stephen: SOME OF THEM GOOD, SOME OF THEM BAD, BUT HUMAN

FEELINGS WE CAN SHARE THROUGH THE MIRACLE OF TELEVISION.

HERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE A FEELING ABOUT --

THE TRUMP TRAIN KEEPS ON ROLLING DOWN THEM CRAZY TRACKS.

( LAUGHTER ) YESTERDAY, TRUMP SUMMONED ALL

THE BIGWIGS OF TV NEWS, FOLKS LIKE CNN PRESIDENT JEFF ZUCKER

AND NBC ANCHOR LESTER HOLT, TO TRUMP TOWER.

NATURALLY, THEY ALL ASSUMED THEY WERE BEING NAMED SECRETARY OF

HE'S GOING TO HAVE, LIKE, 20 SECRETARIES OF STATE.

ONCE THEY GOT THERE, OUR NATION'S MOST PROMINENT

MEDIA FIGURES WERE DRESSED DOWN AND TOLD, "WE'RE IN A ROOM OF

LIARS," AND HE TOLD CNN'S JEFF ZUCKER, "I HATE YOUR NETWORK

I MEAN, WHY IS ANTHONY BOURDAIN ON THE CABLE NEWS NETWORK?

AND REPORTEDLY, TRUMP TOLD THE PRESIDENT OF NBC NEWS THAT HER

NETWORK WON'T RUN A NICE PICTURE OF HIM, INSTEAD CHOOSING "THIS

PICTURE OF ME," AS HE MADE A FACE WITH A DOUBLE CHIN.

YEAH, NBC, STOP USING UNFLATTERING PICTURES OF DONALD

HE'S SO PHOTOGENIC, HE RUNS THE -- THE MAN -- THERE'S NO BAD

HE RUNS THE GAMUT FROM "I JUST ATE A BUG" ALL THE WAY TO "MAY I

( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE, WHEN NOT BERATING THE

MEDIA, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT HAS BEEN BUSY FILLING HIS CABINET.

SO FAR, WE KNOW HIS PICK FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL: ALABAMA

IF SENATOR SESSIONS BECOMES ATTORNEY GENERAL, HE WOULD BE IN

CHARGE OF ENFORCING OUR NATION'S CIVIL RIGHTS LAWS.

AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE HE STANDS ON CIVIL RIGHTS, THERE'S

A HINT IN HIS FULL NAME: JEFFERSON BEAUREGARD

( IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT ) I SAY TO YOU, SIR!

THE ONLY WAY THAT COULD SOUND MORE CONFEDERATE IS IF HE WERE

NAMED "GENERAL STONEWALL SECESSION MCCOTTON-GIN."

ADMINISTRATION, HE WAS DENIED A JUDICIAL APPOINTMENT OVER SOME

AMONG OTHER THINGS, A COWORKER CLAIMS SESSIONS SAID HE WAS OKAY

WITH THE KLAN "UNTIL I LEARNED THEY SMOKED POT."

YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN THEY SMOKED POT WHEN THEY STARTED CALLING

HE MIGHT BE THE ONLY POLITICIAN IN HISTORY TO GO DOWN THINKING

( LAUGHTER ) AND TRUMP'S FRONTRUNNER TO LEAD

THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY APPEARS TO BE KANSAS

SECRETARY OF STATE AND MIDDLE SCHOOL FOOTBALL COACH WHO'S NOT

ALLOWED ON THE FIELD ANYMORE, KRIS KOBACH.

WHEN KOBACH MET WITH TRUMP, SOMETHING TELLS ME HE CAME

PREPARED WITH A STRATEGIC PLAN FOR THE FIRST 365 DAYS.

AND BY "SOMETHING" I MEAN THIS PICTURE, WHERE HE IS CLEARLY

HOLDING HIS STRATEGIC PLAN FOR THE FIRST 365 DAYS.

THE ONLY WAY THOSE PLANS COULD BE SAFER IS IF HE STORED THEM ON

DURING THE CAMPAIGN, DONALD TRUMP PROMISED TO DO A LOT OF

THINGS AS PRESIDENT, AND MAYBE STRANGEST AND STRONGEST WAS HIS

PROMISE, HIS PLEDGE, HIS RALLYING CRY TO JAIL HILLARY

>> IF I WIN, I AM GOING TO INSTRUCT MY ATTORNEY GENERAL TO

GET A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR TO LOOK INTO YOUR SITUATION BECAUSE

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN SO MANY LIES, SO MUCH DECEPTION.

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT, AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE

>> YOU KNOW, IT IS... IT'S JUST AWFULLY GOOD THAT SOMEONE WITH

THE TEMPERAMENT OF DONALD TRUMP IS NOT IN CHARGE OF THE LAW IN

OH, I WAS A HAPPIER TIME WHEN JUST THE IDEA OF DONALD TRUMP

BUT TODAY, ON MSNBC'S "COFFEE JOE MORNING," HILLARY GOT SOME

>> WE BEGIN WITH BREAKING NEWS: A SOURCE WITH DIRECT KNOWLEDGE

OF DONALD TRUMP'S THINKING TELLS "MORNING JOE" THAT, IN HIS

ADMINISTRATION, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT WILL NOT PURSUE

ANY INVESTIGATIONS INTO HILLARY CLINTON FOR HER USE OF A PRIVATE

E-MAIL SERVER AND THE CLINTON FOUNDATION.

>> I THINK WHEN THE PRESIDENT-ELECT, WHO'S ALSO THE

HEAD OF YOUR PARTY NOW, JOE, TELLS YOU BEFORE HE'S EVEN

Subtitles ListPlay Video

The Trump Train Is Already Off The Rails

privilege

assume

applause

pursue