Name: How To Seduce Someone With Confidence
Uploaded: 2017-08-18T00:57:04.000Z
Duration: 4 min 35 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

We are never as shy and gauche as we are when
attempting to seduce someone we deeply like.

The thought of someone this perfect coming
to take an interest in us seems at once tantalizing

and entirely implausible. We develop vertigo
and, too often, fall. Behind our insecurity

lie two conjoined fears: that we are exceptionally
awful. And that the beloved is exceptionally

perfect. Both ideas are hugely destructive
– and false. However, the road to greater

confidence about our own nature is not to
start to tell ourselves that we are, after

all, brilliant. It is to examine more carefully
how brilliant any other human being can plausibly

be – and conclude that we are no more awful
than the next soul. We are so closely in contact

with our own ridiculous sides, we cannot – from
within, if we are halfway honest – have

many illusions about ourselves: every day,
we are made aware of our inherent clumsiness,

error and absurdity. By contrast, we only
ever see the carefully constructed facades

of everyone else, which is what can make them
seem – quite unfairly – more impressive

than they in fact are. We shouldn’t try
to reassure ourselves of our own dignity;

we should grow at peace with the inevitable
nature of our but also everybody else’s

ridiculousness. We are idiots now, we have
been idiots in the past, and we will be idiots

again in the future – and that is entirely
normal. There aren’t any other available

options for a human being. Once we learn to
see ourselves as already, and by nature, foolish,

it really doesn’t matter so much if we do
one more thing that might look quite stupid.

The person we try to kiss could indeed think
us ridiculous. But if they did so, it wouldn’t

be news to us; they would only be confirming
what we had already gracefully accepted in

our hearts long ago: that we, like them – and
every other person on the earth – are something

of a nitwit. The risk of trying and failing
would have its sting substantially removed.

The fear of humiliation would no longer stalk
us in the shadows. Furthermore, it is properly

unhelpful ever to think of someone we want
to seduce as particularly special. It is normal,

of course, to be momentarily dazzled by beauty
or intelligence, but we should quickly recover

our poise and remember that our beloved is,
after all, only human. In other words, that

behind the alluring facade, once we know them
better, they will have a litany of irritating

habits, insecurities, obsessions and flaws.
To give us further confidence, if we did kiss

and even one day marry this person, we’d
almost certainly be quite unhappy a lot of

the time. Our intimidated feelings before
a prospective lover stem from a melodramatic

sense of how much is at stake. This paragon
will, with time, prove to be a lot more complicated

than they appear and will at points be plain
heart-wrenchingly maddening. This dark knowledge

should relax us as we struggle to cross the
room and speak to them: we are not, in fact,

faced with a divine being balancing our fate
entirely in their well-formed hands. They

are an ordinary creature beset with all the
tensions, compromises and blind spots we know

from our own selves – who will, if everything
goes really well, in substantial ways eventually

ruin our lives. We can approach our date with
the down-to-earth confidence of one misery-inducing

human reaching out to another to start a relationship
that will, in time, at many points, feel like

an enormous mistake. We can import into the
seduction phase some of the (usefully relaxing)

ingratitude that we naturally experience once
a relationship has started – and use it

to get love going. We should, before heading
out for the evening, tell oneself that one

is of course something of a cretin and an
imbecile, but then so are they, and everyone

else we will meet. One or two more acts of
folly should, thereafter, not seem like they

We produce new, thought provoking films, every week.

Be sure to subscribe to our channel and take a look at more of what we have to offer at the link on your screen now.