Name: The Horrifying Reason Why Jim Jefferies Cancelled His CONAN Appearance - CONAN on TBS
Uploaded: 2018-06-28T23:28:39.000Z
Duration: 4 min 20 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Jim, we have something to talk about right away,

At the last second, I mean literally, within like

I think two and a half, three hours of us taping the show.

It was about three hours, but I couldn't come to the show.

No, I would have come if I could have come

and actually that leads me into this story a lot better.

'Cause yeah, I heard there was a medical thing

OK, so the morning before I want meant to be on your show,

the night before I was meant to be on your show

And when I ejac-- Wait a minute, hold it.

When I ejaculated, blood came out and I thought, hmm.

That's not good, right? (audience laughing)

Just hold on a second, you can't just launch into this.

Like I was Jackson Pollock painting something.

of the end of my penis and I remember being concerned,

but I had to get up early in the morning to do my show,

But then when you wake up in the morning you think, just,

I have to check if this is going to happen again

so I had another wank. (audience laughing)

knowing that you might have blood coming out

into the size of a grapefruit and I thought,

Like, do you ever use those space hoppers?

That blow-up balloon that you hold with two ears

That's how I looked, but I only had one ear

And so I went to the doctor's, and the doctor said

that I probably had an STD, which I thought was weird

because I hadn't had sex with anyone for weeks.

Now over the course of the last two weeks

I've had four doctors' fingers in my ass, right?

Not at once, individually. (audience laughing)

Individually over several different days.

And it turned out that I just had a prostate infection,

so I was very stressed out. Oh, so you're fine now.

Well no, my testicle's still a little larger

I mean like, this whole area looks damaged, right?

about, I'm telling too much here, but why not?

(audience laughing) I had hemorrhoid surgery

about a year and a half ago and they put me,

I had to have like 20 stitches up my colon

on like a pyramid pillow like that so my ass was in the air

and the cut a sheet out and then they put my face.

they put my face into like a massage hole

and that's one of the times that you don't want to be famous

right, when someone's about to put stitches in your colon

and just as the anesthetist put the mask on me,

as I was passing out one of the nurses looked down

at my face and went, "My brother's a big fan of yours."

Now what are the chances that she doesn't go back

to her brother and go I was looking at Jim Jefferies' colon.

OK, so the important thing is you're OK now.

I mean, why is this all happening to you?

and the testicle's going down and I have no STDs.