Name: "Arab Men" | Russell Peters - Notorious
Uploaded: 2018-08-14T14:36:23.000Z
Duration: 6 min 41 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

>>Russell Peters: My Lebanese friends, ever gone back to Beirut?

Let me tell you something. I've partied, all over the world, and by far, without trying to suck up to you guys,

but out of all the places I've been to, in the world, Beirut parties, like you've never seen, before.

They literally party, like there's no tomorrow!

There could, very well be, over there, you know?

And you've never seen chain-smoking, like you-- like, you go to Beirut, you see chain-smoking!

To us, chainsmokers light up a cigarette, finish, throw it on the ground, and start another one.

One in this hand, one in this hand, and, like, one of those fake blue ones for safety, you know what I mean?

And I'm like, "Dude, aren't you worried about getting cancer?"

[Arabic accent] "I will never die of cancer."

[Arabic accent] "The Yehudis will kill me, well before the cancer can, I don't have to worry about that!"

"Cancer-- AIDS-- No disease, will get me, don't worry!"

I know what the problem is, in the Middle East.

Here's what the first problem is. Arab men--

They will never say no, and they will never admit, to not knowing something.

It, somehow, emasculates an Arab man, to not know something. It doesn't matter what it is--

if he doesn't know, he'll make up a story.

Doesn't matter what you ask him, it could be something as simple as, "Hey uh, do you know how to make a cake?"

[Normal voice] "Really? 'Cause I don't know how to make cake."

You know how you can tell, when an Arab guy's lying?

That's the fucking tip-off, when you know he's lying--

'Cause I'm like, "Really? I don't know how to make a cake. How do you make a cake?"

"Cause I don't think that's how you make cake."

[Yelling in an Arabic accent] "THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE CAKE!"

'THEY HAVE BEEN MAKING CAKE, LIKE THAT, SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!"

I'm like, "Alright, don't get crazy! I'm just asking."

It's true! It doesn't matter what you ask them. If they don't know, they will make up a story

It's-- and this really happened to me, last year.

I was in Bloomingdale's, the department store. The American department store.

So, clearly, there's a problem with the Jews and the Arabs.

So, I'm in Bloomingdale's-- I'm looking to leave the store. I'm looking for an escalator,

I see a security guy, standing there, I walk up, and I go,

[Normal voice] "Uh, do you know where it is?"

[Normal voice] "Do you think you could tell me, where it is?

"You go straight, then left, then right."

Go straight, then left, then right. So, I go straight--

There's another guy, working in that part of the store. I go, "Excuse me, is there an escalator, here?" He goes,

I go, "No, I don't see one. That's why I'm asking."

[Arabic accent] "Do you think, maybe, they put a wall in front of it?

I go, "I don't know what I think, that's why I'm asking you!"

[Arabic accent] "Why would you think there is an escalator, on this wall?"

[Normal voice] "Cause some guy, that worked here, told me, there was an escalator, here.

[Normal voice] "Who the Hell lies, about an escalator?!"

I go, "Is there an escalator, in your store?!"

[Arabic accent] "Of course! How else you go up and down?"

[Normal voice] "Do you know, where it is?"

[Yelling in normal voice] "WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!"

"Then go straight, then left, then right."

I go, "No, no, no, no! That's how I ended up here. Those are the same directions!"

[Arabic accent] Well, that's where it is."

[Normal voice] "Why would that guy lie?!"

So, I go back. I walked past the guy, that gave me the bullshit directions.

Now, I'm hoping, as a man, that this guy, is going to continue the lie, for me.

At least, do that, you know? When I say, "Hey man, there's no escalator, over there."

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"Arab Men" | Russell Peters - Notorious

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