Name: Exams, CBSE, Punishments - Stand Up Comedy by Kenny Sebastian
Uploaded: 2018-09-07T14:30:05.000Z
Duration: 10 min 29 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

You guys know what Kendriya Vidyalaya is, right?

There are some rich people are like, "What is this, a spa?"

Barely! Like they have rooms that resemble classrooms.

Ya, So we had a lovely curriculum in KV called CBSE.

That the only thing we look forward to is discussing marks.

See, people show off, like, "hey bro, I got 88%."

And there's one guy who'll come up with like,"I got 95 ,I do ICSE"

ICSE, who did ICSE? Oh my God. You guys are sorted for life, okay?

While we were learning addition and subtraction  you were learning how to send mars rovers.

I don't know, what retarded curriculum they have.

And obviously, in KV, they do a lot of torture techniques.

The first thing is called morning assembly.

And, they make the guys stand in  ascending order of insecurities.

Shortest, least self confident guy goes in the first.

Genetically gifted tall guy who's good looking  will do well in life in the back.

If you're gonna play with their insecurities

"Hey your susu is small" "Ya correct Sir sorry-"

They make sure that everyone does not have a sense

By making sure everybody wears the same uniform.

And there is, there's the wicked death eater of

the morning assembly,  the person who checks if you're wearing your uniform correctly.

He's just like "Oh but I am not wearing the belt."

"Don't worry, just pull your shirt like this.

"Ya I know. I'll just pull it like this and he won't check."

We used to always wait for someone to screw it up.

"India is my country." "Ya, keep going, keep going.

(In Hindi) I bet 10 bucks he is going to break in the middle

"All africans are my brothers and sisters" "SEE HE SCREWED UP."

I still can't get it right. Like I heard it everyday for 12 years.

And then there are so, there are torture techniques.

So there was this teacher called Prasad Sir.

I still call him Sir because I am afraid  he'll come and hit me from somewhere.

So there's a proper heil Hitler thing in school, which is..

After a point it wasn't about respect anymore  it was a "Don't hit me teacher."

So Prasad Sir, who obviously had a nickname.  Every teacher, has a nickname, right?

Only when I grew up I realized how tough it is to be a teacher.

So Prasad Sir, we used to call him, James Bond.

And he used to have like, slicked back hair, full perfectly gelled.

I think he gelled it with the tears of the children.

And he used to, try to catch us, like, we didn't even like, mess up. He used to make sure we mess up.

So he used to like, suddenly enter the room.

and all of would be caught by surprise,  and someone who's not standing would get caught.

So what we used to do, in between the class, we have like,  five minutes of freedom, right? It's just..

We're just chilling. And all of us were smart, like,

we used to keep one leg distance from our desk.

We used to chill like this, teacher comes in, "Good morning Sir."

Where there'll be one, two idiots who're like in the back and like,..

And Prasad sir used to like, he was a cold blooded killer.  And he used to like

(In Hindi) "Sir Arjun hasn't done anything wrong."

"Why are you bringing him into this, you want me, go after me."

And now his weapon of choice was the duster.

All you rich folks will be like, "Oh, what's the big deal with the duster, Kenny?"

A duster in the Kendriya Vidyalaya, I am just thinking,

I am sure they had a board meeting, right?

"So what do you think we should use for the duster?"

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Exams, CBSE, Punishments - Stand Up Comedy by Kenny Sebastian

weird

sort

realize

barely