Name: Know Your Value
Uploaded: 2020-03-13T05:38:24.000Z
Duration: 5 min 40 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Usually, the universe will send us a message.

[The Universe: I need you to know your value]

This message is the next step in our personal and spiritual development, the lesson that we need to learn to grow.

And if you ignore the Universe, it'll just get louder.

You can't ignore me Anna, this is the universe.

Until finally, it seems kind of ridiculous.

In theory, would you want this... twenty dollars?

No, actually, I would definitely pass in that case.

Okay, well, I mean never mind then, but like isn't it interesting that no matter how much I beat up this twenty-dollar bill, it still has its inherent value?

So for the last few years, my one goal has been to recognize my self-worth and to practice self-love.

And you know, in the midst of things, it's really hard to tell whether or not change is actually happening.

But, a few months ago, someone I've been seeing romantically told me.

So I've like, decided, I don't actually want a relationship anymore, but don't worry.

I'm still down to like chill and have all the perks of a relationship without any of the emotional accountability.

Old Anna would have a hundred percent said...

- Oh, yeah, of course. - That's tight, right, that's like a solid deal.

Yeah I mean, that's exactly what I want that lines up.

Why don't they like me enough to commit, you know.

Maybe if I stick around, they'll see how awesome I am and change their mind like, I can prove to them that I'm a really great person and I would make a great partner.

Okay, well, I totally understand that, but I'm actually looking for a commitment, and I can't just like hang out with people without developing feelings so...

I'll have to bow out, but it was really nice getting to know you.

And I know it doesn't seem like a big deal.

But this, this is me knowing that I am worthy of being committed to.

In the past, my usual M.O. has been that "I'll stick around," confident that I'm gonna grow on them like a barnacle and, or fungus, and become so indispensable to their life that they can't help but make me their girlfriend.

I have listened to the universe, I have learned!

So for those of you struggling with knowing your value, how do we get here?

Well, in therapy, I'm learning about positive resilience.

So my therapist says that our brains pick out our flaws, right?

We're designed to look for the negative and focus on our weaknesses because it's how we survive

So to cultivate a sense of self-worth, we need to shift that focus onto our strengths, believe in ourselves, and be clear about our values.

That means knowing your boundaries, having the courage to speak up for yourself, and finding ways to validate yourself from within, instead of externally.

That one I haven't quite figured out yet because I love attention.

Now, I know this is all very abstract, right?

Well, there are many ways, and you can find the ones that speak to you, whether that's taking the Clifton strengths assessment and taking a moment to reflect every week about how you exhibited your strengths.

Therefore, doing one rep and mentally solidifying positive resilience, or you can write affirmations over and over again to take advantage of the link between what we write down, and how we affect our subconscious beliefs.

You can explore these issues in therapy, future- self journal to shift your patterns, and, or listen to guided meditations.

One thing you must absolutely do is give yourself time, measure change in six-month increments, sometimes year increments.

Because when you're in the muck of day-to-day journaling or repeating affirmations in the mirror.

I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful!

It can be hard to really see whether or not it's working.

But after you've been at it for a substantial amount of time, when the opportunity arises, you'll see whether or not you're making progress.

So do not be discouraged, because before you know it, you will see the difference.

-Eyy, look at us! -Look at us! -Look at us!

-Yes, -Oh my God. -Oh my God -I didn't even know he was cheating on us... the entire time... with all of you.

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