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  • About eight years ago in the U.K. I was outed by a mental health charity because they asked

  • me if they could take a photo of me to raise money in one of their little, you know, pamphlets.

  • And I said yeah and I thought it was going to be a tiny fingernail clipping of a picture

  • but they were huge posters all over the U.K. – gigantic. And I looked like a Lithuanian

  • peasant and it said on it – I don’t know who wrote thisone in four people have

  • mental illness, one if five people have dandruff. I have both. I mean, you know, mortified.

  • So I thought you know what I’m going to do. I’m going to write a show and I’m

  • going to make that look like it’s my publicity poster.

  • So I did write a show and I did it in mental institutions for the first two years. And

  • I think they liked it. Well I couldn’t tell because they weren’t always facing me. And

  • then I made a joke. I said the bipolars used to say I laughed, I cry. And really if you

  • can make a psychotic laugh youre halfway to Broadway. What happened was then we would

  • have – I would do my show. Then we’d have a little bit of a lunch break and we used

  • to steal food from the anorexics because they didn’t mind. And then we’d come back.

  • We’d have a discussion, fabulous discussions – I won’t even go into their questions.

  • Oh, P.S., I wasn’t talking down to them because they knew I was of the tribe, okay.

  • So you know how people go, “How’d you do that?” I was one of them. So then the

  • show took off and I did it in all theaters. In Australia, in Capetown, in London. Everywhere

  • I did the show and the audience would ask me the same questions and it became a kind

  • ofeven for a thousand people one guy would stand up and he’d say, you know a

  • real butch guy – I’ve been on antidepressants for 20 years. I’ve never told my wife and

  • she was sitting next to him. And it was like the Muppets in there like people would be

  • beside themselves, you know, where do I go? How do I get help? And sometimes it was heavy,

  • you know. One woman said I have cancer and depression and I said, “Well, which is worse?”

  • And she said well with the cancer all I wanted to do was live and with the depression I just

  • wanted to die. Other people were quite funny. So this became a walk in center. And on my

  • days off I would use it as a walk in center and I’d bring in doctors and neuroscientists

  • and invite people off the street and have a whole army of therapists so they could get

  • help, bully for me. You know we needed a kind of AA, have it so organized. And this is like,

  • you know, how did they get it together? Theyre drunks.

  • So I made this a walk in center. And then what happened was I had a depression. It doesn’t

  • define my life. Seven years ago I had a really bad one. I ended up on kind of a chair for

  • a few months. Let me just say people think I’m just going sideways. That depression

  • is about having a bad hair day or your cat left town. It isn’t sad. Nothing to do with

  • sadness. It’s like your old personality slowly leaves town and youre left with

  • a block of cement which is you. I mean it’s like being in hibernation but you can’t

  • wake up. And so I ended up in a chair. To take a shower was unimaginable. I didn’t

  • tell anybody. I didn’t tell my friends because, you know, what comes with this disease is

  • a real sense of shame because everybody thinks well look at you, you know, you have everything.

  • Youre not in a township. Youre not being carpet-bombed. So I always say you get these

  • abusive voices likebut not one voice but a hundred thousand voices. Like if the

  • devil had Tourette’s that’s what it would sound like. So I was sick. I never told anybody.

  • I got a few phone calls from a few friends saying perk up. Yeah, perk up because I never

  • thought of that.

  • So then I was really interested in how the brain works because I thought well, every

  • other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy except your brain. So I thought

  • let’s learn about the brain. So I gave up my career. Kissed that one bye bye and decided

  • I would do research as to how this baby works because we know so much about technology but

  • we know nothing about the mind. You know, it’s running us. Were not running it.

  • So I decided okay, let’s do research and find out how I can maybe control my chemicals,

  • you know, how I could cool the engine. So I researched it and mindfulness based cognitive

  • therapy had the best results. Otherwise I would have gone in a workshop for how to hug

  • your inner elf, you know, I’m not into the fluffy stuff. So because of the empirical

  • evidence I studied. So I found the founder, one of the founders. He was a professor at

  • Oxford so I, you know, I have the drive of a Rottweiler so I drove to Oxford. It was

  • at the time I was sick. I think I smashed into some trees. And when I got to him I was

  • crazy and I said to him just tell me in a nutshell what happens in the brain when you

  • do this mindfulness because, you know, I don’t want to wave crystals.

  • He said you’d have to get into Oxford and get your Masters if you want to know about

  • the brain. So I did and I graduated in September and I got the batwings and, you know, the

  • Hogwarts hat. And so it made my life so much easier because of this thing called neuroplasticity

  • which I don’t understand why it’s not shouted from rooftops that you could change

  • the wiring in your brain by changing how you think. Basically we used to think we were

  • at the mercy of our genes but, you know, like how you come into the world is how you go

  • out. And look, the length of your leg and the color of your eyes, those you inherit,

  • there’s no question. Because I’ll never forgive my parents for giving me the legs

  • of a Dachshund because I wanted to go down that catwalk and now I’ve come to terms

  • it ain’t going to happen. But the genes that develop your brain, they keep changing

  • because theyre dependent on experience. So it’s like they hand you a blueprint and

  • a deck of cards but how you play them is up to you. So, you know, I can’t understand

  • why other people don’t notice information. I mean it’s 2014. 2014 – I have a girlfriend

  • who sent me thiseducatedsent me to somebody to tell me about my past life.

  • I don’t know if you know this but I was a window cleaner in 1742. Everybody else,

  • Nefertiti – I’m a window cleaner. I’m thinking it’s 2014. This stuff is available.

  • Where’s the public on this one?

  • Like ask me about my star sign. What the hell are you talking about. They knowyou can

  • look in a brain with a brain scanner and see those neurons wire and unwire. And that corresponds

  • to how you think. And every time they wire together youre laying down memory. But

  • the good news is you can unwire them and create new habits and give yourself a more flexible

  • or happier life, whatever that means. I mean youre the architect of your own brain.

  • It’s known as neuroplasticity which was so hopeful to me. So I always say Gloria Gaynor

  • was wrong when she sang that song I Am What I Am. Youre not. You have many possibilities.

  • So she’s going to have to change those lyrics because what rhymes with neuroplasticity?

About eight years ago in the U.K. I was outed by a mental health charity because they asked

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神經可塑性如何幫助治療抑鬱症? (How Neuroplasticity Could Help with Depression, with Ruby Wax)

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    稲葉白兎 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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