Thor: You want me to put the hammer down?

(大爆炸)

(large explosion)

(咳嗽)

(coughing)

請問夠了嗎?

Captain America: Are we done here?

哈摟!

Loki: Hello!

你還在這裡?

Iron Man: You're still here?

對呀...

Loki: Yes...

為什麼你沒有趁我們在解決爭論

Thor: Why didn't you run away while we settled our

的時候逃走?

differences?

我永遠不會說的! 恩哼哼喝喝哈哈

Loki: I'll never tell! Muhuhahaha...

哼哼哼哼....呵呵呵呵....哈哈哈哈

Hmmhmmhmmhmm...Muhuhuhahaha...hahahahaha!

好的，我們一定不把他帶回總部

Captain America: OK, we are not taking him back to base.

他絕對有陰謀

He is DEFINITELY up to something!

復仇者聯盟 應該怎麼結束

How The Avengers Should Have Ended

額!哈哈!看盾!

Cap: Whoa! Haha! Shield!

紳士們，這邊!

Iron Man: Gentlemen, right this way!

(莫名其妙的聲音)

Hawkeye: (unintelligible)

(咆嘯)

(Hulk roars)

哈!看鎚!

Thor: Ha! Here comes the hammer!

噼ㄩ 噼ㄩ 噼ㄩ

Black Widow: Pew pew pew!

隊長球!

Captain America: Captainball!

回汝之地!

Thor: --from whence you came!

你敢再說一次!你敢!?你再敢!?

Nick Fury: Say what again! I dare you! I DOUBLE dare you!

(阿~~)

(Black Widow yells)

弱小的神 弱小的神 弱小的神

Hulk: Puny god, puny god, puny god!

(額~~)

(Iron Man grunts)

坦克飛彈!

Iron Man: Tank missile!

(喘氣)

(Hulk pants)

嘿，你們有試過沙威瑪?

Iron Man: Hey, you guys ever had shawarma?

這裡有賣食物!?

(music ends)

是阿，你也從來沒試過沙威瑪?

Superman: This place serves food?!

沙威瑪!!!

Iron Man: Yeah. You never had shawarma, either?

(狼吞虎嚥的嗑沙威瑪)

Hulk: SHAWARMA!

為什麼我要坐在浩克的腿上?

(hungrily devours shawarma)

唔~在一個!

Captain America: Why do I have to sit on Hulk's lap?

(砸)

Thor: Mmm! Another!

嘿...我是蝙蝠俠 你想知道我的

(smashes)

祕密身分?

Batman: Hey...I'm Batman. You want to know my secret

為什麼?

identity?

(清喉嚨)所以你們有個蠻精彩的

Black Widow: ... why?

周末呀

Superman (clears throat): So, you guys had quite a

哼!可不只是精彩

weekend.

首先你們在互鬥，然後

Captain America: Heh, that's an understatement.

你們其中一個兄弟被殺，所以你們就團結起來了...

Superman: First you guys were all against each other, then

噴! 有人死了!?

your buddy got killed, so you're suddenly friends...

呃...對阿 你錯過了那一幕

Hulk: Pffh! Someone die?

但幸運地你最後還是想成為朋友

Iron Man: Uh...yeah, you kinda missed out on that part.

哦.

Black Widow: But luckily you still wanted to be friends later.

沒錯，你從高空墜落然後幸運的

Hulk: Oh.

了解到如何控制你的怒氣...

Batman: Right, you fell from the sky and conveniently

還有你偷了一台摩托車嗎?

learned to control your rage...

呃..細節不重要啦...

Superman: And did you steal a motorcycle?

細節像是奧丁可以把

Hulk: Um. Details not important...

索爾送回地球

Superman: Details like Odin being able to send Thor back

什麼?

to Earth?

或是教授可以方便地做一個方法

Thor: What?

關閉傳送門?事情還真是一帆風順阿

Batman: Or the professor conveniently making a way to

或是所有的奇塔瑞兵都在核爆後死光了

close the portal? That worked out well for you guys.

像星際大戰一樣

Superman: Or the Chitauri all dying "Phantom Menace"

是阿.一件剛好的事情接著一件

style after the nuke?

嗯. 就像你的萬能腰帶一樣!

Batman: Yep. One convenient thing after another...

(笑)

Captain America: Hmm, kind of like your utility belt!

你們知道我怎麼想的嗎? 我認為你們只是

(Avengers laugh)

忌妒我們完美的表現

Iron Man: You know what I think? I think you two are just

(歡呼)

jealous that we knocked it out of the park.

抱歉拉，兄弟...

(Avengers indistinctly cheering)

我不會忌妒，我是蝙蝠俠

Hawkeye: Sorry, guys...

我想我會忌妒...如果我不是像

Batman: I'm not jealous. I'm Batman...

你們所有的總和。如果我不會飛或射雷射或

Superman: I guess I would be jealous... if I wasn't, like,

接住飛彈和千里眼，粉碎建築和穿

all of you combined. If I couldn't fly or shoot lasers or

紅和藍，還有....

catch missiles and see really far, smash buildings and wear

(刷刷聲)

red, and...

你說啥?聲音在變小聲了...

(money rustling)

哇!我們破了太多紀錄啦!

Iron Man: What's that? You're fading out...

我們在這些票房後面聽不到你們說話....

Captain America: Whoa! We've broken too many records!

(笑)

Thor: We can't hear you through all this box office money...

(嘆)

(Avengers laugh)

沙威瑪!

(Batman sighs)

娜塔莎?我的臉上有印記嗎?這著得很痛

Hulk: Shawarma!

在這裡....

(epic music plays)

不是這裡...或是這裡，但是這邊

Hawkeye: Natasha? Do I have a mark on my face? It really

沒，光滑溜溜

hurts...right here.

嘿夥伴們，該準備好...我的

Not here...or here so much, but right here.

天啊，你的臉怎麼了?

Black Widow: Nope. Ship shape.

我就知道!

Captain America: Hey guys, time to suit up...oh my

GOSH, what happened to your face?

Hawkeye: I knew it...

Captioning by Evan Reynolds