Now, experience it all over again with CGI and celebrities

現在，用CGI和名人重新體驗一下吧

as Disney reminds us: "It's not about how you look,

正如迪斯尼提醒我們的那樣："It'不是關於你的外觀。

it's what on the inside of your wallet that counts!"

它'是你錢包裡面的東西才是最重要的！&quot。

(Again)

(再次)

After The Jungle Book used live action to improve on their animated classic,

在《叢林之書》之後，用真人表演來改進他們的經典動畫。

Disney's using live action to just copy their animated classic

迪斯尼用真人秀只是為了複製他們的經典卡通片

and see if anyone notices

看看有沒有人注意到

or cares.

或關心。

Turns out they don't!

原來他們並沒有!

In an empty spectacle that reminds you how good the original was,

在空曠的景象中，讓你想起原作的好。

and shows you how creepy the original would be if it were real.

並向你展示了原著如果是真實的，會有多麼令人毛骨悚然。

"Mum said I wasn't supposed to move."

"媽媽說我不應該動的"。

Eugh!

Eugh!

Return to the British-est part of France,

回到法國最英國的地方。

"I can't remember what."

"我不能'記得什麼.&quot。

"Crazy old Maurice."

瘋狂的老Maurice.&quot。

"Giving her a suite in the East Wing."

"給她在東翼的一個套房&quot。

and meet Belle,

和貝兒見面。

a beautiful book lover who falls in love with an ugly dude.

一個美麗的愛書人，愛上了一個醜陋的紈絝子弟。

So, Hermione?

我知道嗎，赫敏？

Emma Watson turned down an Oscar-winning role in La La Land for this,

艾瑪-沃森為此拒絕了《La La Land》中的奧斯卡獲獎角色。

but she deserves an Oscar for not laughing every time Dan Steven showed up in his mo-cap suit.

但她應該獲得奧斯卡獎，因為她沒有在每次丹-史蒂文穿著他的摩帽服出現時大笑。

Watch her inhabit this strong, female role model

看她居住在這個強勢的女性榜樣身上。

who isn't afraid to invent her own...

她不怕發明自己的... ...

washing machine,

洗衣機。

"What are you doing?"

"你在做什麼？&quot。

"The laundry."

"洗衣店."

and doesn't need a man to help her express herself,

並不需要一個男人來幫助她表達自己。

unless that man's name is Otto Tune.

除非那個人的名字是奧托-圖恩。

♫ Easy to remember ♫

? 易於記憶 ?

Otto? Tune? You get it.

奧托？調子？你懂的

But it's not all a rehash of the original.

但也不全是原作的翻版。

There's several new tiny crumbs of movie to pick over

有幾個新的小麵包屑的電影，可以挑選。

like:

喜歡。

superfluous backstory,

冗長的背景故事。

wandering around the woods,

徘徊在樹林裡。

diversity?,

多樣性？

and the plague.

和瘟疫。

Kids love the plague!

孩子們喜歡瘟疫!

Plus, a new Oscar-bating song

另外，奧斯卡的新歌

that'll have you wondering if you have enough time to take a pee break.

那'會讓你懷疑自己是否有足夠的時間去撒尿。

♫ Now I know she'll never leave me ♫

Now I know she'll never leave me

You do.

是的

Gaston shines as the aggressive, controlling, hairy guy who imprisons Belle's dad,

加斯頓作為囚禁貝爾'的爸爸的侵略性、控制性、毛茸茸的傢伙而大放異彩。

as opposed to the Beast, an aggressive, controlling, hairy guy who imprisons Belle's dad.

相對於野獸，一個咄咄逼人、控制慾強、毛茸茸的傢伙，他囚禁了貝兒'的爸爸。

And if you're mad we reused the same joke we made in our original Honest Trailer,

如果你'瘋了，我們用了同樣的笑話，我們在我們原來的誠實預告片。

then you're not one of the millions of Disney fans who defend this glorified rehash.

那麼你'不是一個數以百萬計的迪斯尼球迷誰捍衛這個美化的翻版。

Blink and you'll miss the reveal of Disney's first openly gay character,

眨眨眼，你'就會錯過迪士尼'第一個公開的同志角色的揭示。

assuming you don't count Prince Eric,

假設你不計算埃裡克王子。

as LeFou finally comes out of the closet

因為樂福終於出櫃了。

to piss off everyone.

惹惱了所有人。

Because gay people don't want their first character to a sniveling, evil weirdo

因為同性戀者不希望他們的第一個角色是一個哭哭啼啼的邪惡怪人。

while homophobes want the scene to be more gay so they can get really hot and bothered.

而同性戀者希望現場更多的同志，所以他們可以得到真正的熱和煩惱。

Seriously, that's it? That's the moment that got it banned in Kuwait, Malaysia, and Alabama?

說真的，就這樣？這就是讓它在科威特、馬來西亞和阿拉巴馬州被禁止的時刻？

I've seen gayer stuff for breakfast!

我見過比這更噁心的東西當早餐!

So be Disney's guest at this timeless tale of how it's your inner beauty that matters,

所以，在這個永恆的故事中，成為迪斯尼'的客人，你的內在美才是最重要的。

"The beauty is found within."

"美是在裡面發現的。"&quot。

even though Belle is hot,

儘管貝兒很性感

the Beast is hot,

野獸是熱的。

the dresser is hot,

梳妝檯是熱的。

the librarian is hot,

圖書管理員是熱的。

and even the withered, old crone turns out to be hot.

甚至連枯瘦的老嫗也變成了熱心人。

Because while inner beauty is what really matters,

因為雖然內在美才是真正重要的。

your ugly ass is definitely a curse.

你的醜陋的屁股絕對是一個詛咒。

Yay, the Royal Prince is back!

耶，皇太子回來了!

But wait, if Gaston had a musket, then this takes place either right before or right after the French Revolution.

但等等，如果加斯頓有火槍，那麼這一切不是發生在法國大革命之前，就是發生在法國大革命之後。

Uh-oh!

啊哦！