Name: My Random Thoughts (James Edition)
Uploaded: 2017-08-20T17:29:06.000Z
Duration: 8 min 22 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

I'm sort of stealing this idea from Jaiden animations... Wait no, that's not right. I'm not stealing it. I'm

Plagiarizing it Jaiden did a video talking about random thoughts?

She had and you should all go watch it, and I thought hey

I think randomly sometimes. So Jaiden is it all right if I make a video about my random thoughts?

I hope you say yes, because I just did. What is happiness?

Well, it's a chemical in your brain, and how do you get that chemical? Well, It's just a little something

I like to call drugs. I think humans make fun of hairless animals way too much

We think that all hairless animals are ugly

Just go to Google images and type in hairless animal, and you'll probably think the animals you see there are ugly as well

We're hairless animals too - if anything other animals should think that we're ugly so I look at this phenomenon

And I have a theory. I think we humans find things covered in hair more cute

we're more attracted to things covered in hair and

that's why I'm a furry my dad never taught me how to shave and one time I cut myself shaving right above my lip and

For the rest of the day all I could smell its blood

I don't know why I mentioned the dad part

You know how websites will ask you to type in a bunch of misshapen letters to make sure you're not a robot

That's called a captcha and some of those captchas are impossible sometimes i look at a captcha and think

Am I a robot I just wanted to send some email

I didn't want to question my identity I wasn't ready for an existential crisis clubpenguin. Sorry that joke is Dead

Just like club penguin so here's the random thought. What if we lived in a robot?

Society and robots had to prove that they weren't human to make a Facebook account

I think their captcha would be an optical illusion

Like to sign in to a website it'll show two lines and say prove you're not a human which line is bigger

Optical illusions are like captchas for people every time you paint a room

And if it takes you one can of paint to paint an entire room and the room gets smaller by one can of paint

You brought a can of paint inside the room

And you never took it out every time you smell something, molecules from that thing gets sucked up into your nose

And that's how you're able to smell it so that means every time you smell something it gets a tiny bit lighter do

Archaeologists have lingo and jokes that only other archaeologists will understand like there's a whole other world of jokes that I won't get to experience

Archaeologist like one day two archeologists could be digging the hole and one says I'm not finding anything

and then the other guy says well, you know what they say in the archaeology business and

I don't know what they say because I'm not an archaeologist. How about we look up jokes for archaeologists?

Why did Robin hood pull out of the archery contest?

Okay, get that one it. Just wasn't that funny nor was it about archaeology, or maybe it was and I just don't get it

We'll never know where did Caesar keep his armies up his sleeve. Ease, okay?

But armies is supposed to be your arm like your body arm and your armies go up your sleevies

Sleeves, and you could just say this about anyone who had an army where did hitler keep his armies up its levees oh

Ha ha ha when you ask someone, what time it is sometimes they'll say it's a quarter to blink and first up

I really hate that way of telling time because now I have to use math just to know what time it is

Okay, so a quarter to eight well a quarter is 25 so eight minus 25. It's like negative 13 right now

We're using time numbers so a quarter of 60. That's like 10 minutes, so 8 minus 60 over 4

We usually only say it's a quarter 2 when referring to whole numbers, but I wish people would use other times like hey

What time is it? Oh it's 1/4 8:37 did you know that mosquitoes prefer type?

O blood more than any other blood type does that mean our blood tastes different. How can mosquitoes since what blood type?

We are do mosquitoes think we come in different flavors

What if there was a restaurant for mosquitoes and the menus just had our blood types are there mosquitoes?

Snobs like one mosquito would say oh, I see you're drinking o-negative

Of course you'd like that blood everyone likes that blood I got that whole idea from a conversation

I had with Jaiden and I said I was going to use in my random thoughts video

So I'm just stealing everything from Jaiden. You know what I think would be a funny contradiction

A fedora with a tumblr logo on it whenever you leave for a trip people will say drive safe. Which is fine

I always appreciate safe driving tips, but when you go flying in an airplane sometimes people will say have a safe flight

But I literally have no control the plane flies safely or none. Why are you telling me to fly safe?

I should be the one telling the pilot that

"Hey I just wanted to say that a lot of my friends are counting on you, so you better not screw this up"

But how do I fly unsafe maybe go on my phone before we take off now watch the safety video blow the plane up?

Why do people care so much about fashion if I bought some really nice clothes?

And I go to a party out of everyone in that room

I'm the only one who can't see what I'm wearing

Unless I look down the entire time I can go to a party and be wearing just a bunch of clown makeup and as long

As there's no mirrors around and everyone plays it cool. I would have no idea that. I'm wearing anything and also

Because I look good in everything. I think this whole youtube thing has given me a confidence boost

But it's giving me confidence that I didn't have in high school my parents bought me a pokemon shirt for Christmas, and yeah

I like Pokemon, but I don't want the whole world to know that and

In high school I wouldn't have worn any remotely geeky shirt

But now I can go outside and not even realize that I'm wearing my pokemon shirt

and when I do realize I usually think huh that's embarrassing

EEHH i'm the odd ones out who cares when my parents are my age they already had a child and here I am

You know how different states in America will have different names for certain things like some states call it pop instead of soda or how

They call it a washroom instead of a bathroom and apparently in Rhode Island

They call a water fountain of bubbler and everywhere else is just normal anyway once I heard that down south

There's a phrase for when it's raining and the sun is still out and that phrase is the devil meeting his wife

that means anyone can find happiness even the Devil I

Love it when we give the devil more innocent and human characteristics and given how few of times it rains in Arizona

I don't get to use that phrase very often so already when it's raining. It's like

It's raining this day is going to be great

But then when the sun's out I get to say look guys the devil's meeting his wife. I hope they're happy together

Unfortunately I misheard what that phrase was when I learned it. It's not the devil meeting his wife. It's actually the devil

his wife, so I guess they're not happy together. I was so sad when I learned what it actually was

I don't know who this Devil's wife is but you need to find a new man dude and to think I almost thought of you

Satan I looked at that saying on Wikipedia and in Tennessee they say the devil is kissing his wife

So I guess and kind of see the devil is romantic

But everywhere else he just can't stand her and the worst variation